Err... conversations.. that i have. with my friends.
Fatin Is A Goddamn Racist.
FYI: for the sake of the story you need to know that theyre both my producers, and Fatin's black and Eric's white
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Fatin: (to Eric G) "The Natural" is DUMB. #thatisall
Eric G: (To Fatin) thanks man.. you know how i feel about your work
Me: I think you both suck. Terrible, awful music you make.
Fatin: Who asked you, Space?
Me: Nobody, Paste. Just offering my two cents. :)
Fatin: LOL! But you'd have to distinguish with your "paste" comment. There's two light people you're talking to, Daffy.
Me: Smh. See how easily you relate yourself to the White Man? You should be ashamed.
Fatin: Hey, Eric's decent white folk. Calm down Ms. Pittman.
Me: Eric is awesome. When the revolution comes, I'll shoot you before him.
Fatin: Quit suckin up to the white man. It won't help you become his bed warmer.
Me: no room, what with you there already.
Fatin: LOL!
Eric G: hahaha damn I just now saw this whole conversation
Fatin: Now whip her for sassin...
Me: smh. House nigger.
Eric G: wait, you mean me right?
Fatin: That was REAL funny.
Li Will Miss My Photo Shoot On Account Of Being Raptured
Me: So. I have news that you may or may not find relevant to your life. I was able to schedule the shoot.. For SUNDAY.
Li: ROFLMAO! how fitting.
Me: yup. the day AFTER the end of the world. I mean.. I reckon I'LL still be here
Li: omg i just howled in the office. well EYE won't be here.. but good luck with that. I'm having a long talk with God this week. because I can't be here for months of locust and fire. no ma'am
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahaa oh u finna get saved right quick
Li: been saved already. twice. I'm prayed up!
Me: LOL!!
Li: wait twice in church and like 30 times on my own
Me: well Zion Shiloh is booked. Sooo I'm fucked.
Li: so i guess the backdrop of your photoshoot is gonna be hell and damnation. lmao. i'd skip the bright colors then and do a smokey look
Me: Nah its aaallll abt that juxtaposition! Hellfire wit a jewel tone overlay
Li: STOP IT!!!
Jean Is A Hooligan.
Jean: How. Do you go from prince to professor griff to duran duran to halley duff. Is that her name? Because I hate her. I want her dead.
me: wait.. what? is that what's playing?
Jean: What kind of psycho playlist is that? This is why I slapped that girl yesterday. Wow. kriss kross?
me: u slapped someone yesterday?????? What are you talking about???? LMFAO
Jean: U just gonna play kriss kross like that? Fuck u son. Oh. Yeah. I had a small altercation. I skinned my knee
me: Jean. LMFAO. why? where? who were u with??
Jean: She cut me in li...lemme switch over. if he dont turn this cotdamn kriss kross shit off right fucking now, i swear ta god. *switches over to web* oh ok. so i was in my deli. and these two girls were all loud. and they cut me in line. and then 1 pushed me. and i said excuse you. and she laughed and turned around and said "fuck you b-" .. but it was too late. my hand had connected to her face. and her friend ran out
me: BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA
Jean: and then she went to run out. and then i grabbed her jacket and dragged her. she was heavy for a teen.
me: OMGGGGG
Jean: and my boot was slippy so i skinned my knee and pulled her down and put my elbow in her neck. and then the deli people came out. and pulled me off and brought me my stuff. and then i walked away. my deli, bitch. thank you.
me: Wow. wow.
Jean: oh wait! I forgot the best thing. 2 best things! apparently there were all those christmas parties yesterday. she had a reindeer umm... what would you call that.. A headband? No.. a headpiece? and a red nose. the nose went early, son. shwaaap! >>>>>>nose
me: ROFLMAAAOOOOO
Jean: and who leaves their friend? that's messed up. but listen. if it's two things I hate its.. well three. don't fucking cut me in line. don't push me. and definitely.. DEFINITELY... don't fucking sass me and try to call me a bitch. Stupid. I know I looked very harmless and hipster. this I know. fuck outta here. I will slap a child. My neighborhood. I walk away. ....And I got my coconut water and Naked for free! Yay!
me: **sigh**
Jean: OH! I forgot the second thing. as I was walking away... Len was calling me. His ringtone is "I'm An Asshole." Then I wandered around dazed for about 40 minutes with a skinned knee and a hole in my very expensive wollen tights. *woolen. *woollen? no .. Woolen. I think. Anyway..... TADA. sigh
Icon & I are lesbians (I'm only 22% gay tho)
Iconthemicking: i wonder how many kids ask their mom what "minaj" means cuz of her
me: smmfh
iconthemicking: i suppose it's no different than me learning what a period was from Roseanne
me: its completely different LOL. we ALL get periods. it's a part of being a woman and not a deviant sexual act lol. speaking of deviant sexual acts and periods. i can usually tell how close it is to mine by how much i fantasize about threesomes with women, a la nicki minaj #funfact
iconthemicking: i must be about to get mine then
Me & Van Got Quiet After This One.
Me: U know how ppl say "if u ignore them they'll go away"? that is a lie before God
Vandalyzm: biggest lie ever in life
I Thought He Was Kind Of Cute. Jean? Not So Much.
Jean: he looks like a tub of margarine
me: Lmaaaoooo
Jean: with a sweater on
me: I hate u so much
Jean: hey look. if you like margarine... and sweaters..
Jean: and mediocrity... have a blast
me: :(
Jean: yeah man
Jean: then you got a winner
Alicia Thinks She's Better Than Me.
Me: blah blah blah i've got something to say.
Li: you're dumb. do it like THIS. dork.
Me: I hate Tumblr.
Li: it hates you too. Because you're dumb.
The End.
Che Grand Bout His Paper
Uche: sorry im angry today
Uche: i’ve been cleaning guns and playing MOP all day
Me: *DIES*
Me: can i borrow one? I need to rob a bank
Uche: you gotta get em from the inside. i’ll get you an application from chase.
Me: Best… answer.. eVar
Me: …. so that’s a no on the gun?
Uche: you can rent one. 10% of whatever you get out the bank.
Me: from YOU? I gotta pay u to use the gun AND give you 10% of my $?
Me: sheesh!
Me: hustlin ass nigerians.
Uche: gotta get this muddafuckin money. *turns up random Onyx song*
